Robogymnast

At meets there's invariably a phenomenon: one team who has gymnasts that perform identically. Same rigidily pointed toes and straight legs. Same super stiff arms, fingers splayed apart for "artistry." But that's okay because the kids are young and they think of art as fingerpainting. Stomachs are sucked in. Shoulders thrown back. You could replace any of their faces or hide them altogether, and you would think you were watching the same girl.

How do they (the coaches) do it?

Larissa, our Level 4 rock star, scored a 9.5 on floor last meet, with an all-around score in the 36's. When she was a Level 4, Jamie scored a 9.7 on floor. She's also back from her retirement! It's only been a few weeks but her old form comes through. And Erin, our IGC I'll-try-anything-with-a-smile girl, will be competing for the first time this weekend. Even if she bombs, chances are that she'll score respectably.

What I'm getting at is these three girls, arguably our top performers, all have poise. Body tension. Fluid performances. Everything you need to bring in the desired scores. Coaching-wise, these three show that we're on the right track.

But when they perform, they look nothing like each other. While all are strong and flexible, their body types are completely different. The way they hold themselves is different.

So I return to the original question: How do you do it, coaches?

The Triumvirate

Ever since Coach P. came around, my stress went down. Why's that? Well, if a man from the former U.S.S.R. hits the same roadblocks I do with these ladies, it proves I am not alone.

We have a nice balance at the gym and I am glad for this, that I don't need to feel uptight beside my coworkers with the need to outdo them.

Coach P. is the master coach. He can teach anyone anything. Our girls who didn't have back handsprings at this time last year have standing back tucks now. He can instill fear but maintain a sense of humor.

Greg is the utility man. He can go from spotting vault to coaching beam dance. He never reverts to, "But I'm a guy and don't know how to teach this stuff." He finds a way.

Me, I stick with beam and floor these days, and make the occasional guest appearance on vault and bars. You could say I fill the role of "tiny dancer." Fixing those turns, working those leaps, always urging those chins to be up. Oh, and comic relief.

When competitions go poorly, I can't stop analyzing them on the drive home. Why did that happen? Why does it keep happening? What can we change? Man, I'm a terrible coach.

But then I realize that Greg is probably thinking the same thoughts in his car, and that somewhere, Coach P. is still shaking his head and sighing. I am not alone.

2000 Fail

I rushed back to watch the 2000 Olympics documentary last night, and while there were inspirational stories of equestrian and much track and field, there was NO GYMNASTICS.

But upon reflection, I wonder: Were those Olympics good for anyone?

Consider:

• The USA finishes in fourth place, much to the chagrin of USAG, and ten years later earns the bronze after a Chinese athlete was found to be underage at the Games.
• Andreea Raducan stripped of the all-around gold after testing positive for using cold medicine.
• The vault:

And some more vault:


Perhaps the gymnastics was best left out of this one.

Friendly suggestions

"Good practice today," Greg says to the girls as they line up.

Kathryn's hand snakes up. "You said we had a good practice."

"Yes."

"And we didn't do bars today." Her face becomes hopeful. "Does that mean we should do bars less?"

Good try.

Betwixt the thrill and the agony

If you live in the U.S. and receive the Universal Sports channel, perhaps you, like me, have been watching the "Nine Nights of Glory" -- Bud Greenspan's Olympic documentaries. Last night was Nagano 1998. Tonight, Sydney 2000. Vault and drug scandals, Svetlana Khorkina -- I'll be tuned in.

I'm sad I missed Atlanta 1996, as I am sure we saw a little Kerri Strug vaulting and Magnificent Seven, maybe even a side of Lilia Podkopayeva. Alas, life intervenes.

To get you in the Olympic spirit, just watch :10-:15:

It's still rock and roll to me

My good friend suggests a song by her namesake, Florence and the Machine, with "Kiss With a Fist" as floor music. A little rock 'n roll kick. Also, you gotta love the uber low budget music video.

Made me think of Jet's "Are You Going To Be My Girl," and this instrumental definitely has solid moments (may have to omit the chanting in the background, however!).

Rock on!

Fittingly epic jams

To take a page from my good friend D's book, I'm thinking 2011 should be a year of new, hopefully fantastic floor music (or potential floor music).

Will I search for it every day? Probably not. Will I post the good stuff? Indeed. Keep your ears ready.

Here's the maiden music:
"Flynn Lives" - Daft Punk

Of resolutions and other non-keepable intangibles:

Between cracks about "See you next year!" at the last practice, I say, "Let's make some resolutions about our gymnastics."

No one responds. I think it's possible one or two of the older girls will, the ones who are already motivated. For the little girls, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of their parents have goals for them.

But I don't dwell on it today. Instead I clap. "And see you next year!"

You may ask, How about you, Coach?

I resolve to do as I have: to learn as much as possible, to be open to hearing and testing new techniques, to persistently search YouTube, and to maintain a sense of humor. And to blog about it all.