And regardless,

A typical practice:

“Handstand forward rolls,” I say. In this skill, a gymnast kicks one leg, arms raised above her head. Keeping her body in a straight line, she steps forward and places her hands on the floor, feet rising behind her and meeting over her head in a handstand. She holds the handstand for a moment—arms and legs straight, stomach sucked in, toes pointed—before tipping forward onto her rounded back and rolling up to stand.


Kelsey and Natalie nod and step forward. Brittany sits on the side, icing an ankle. Tia and Kathryn fix their hair in the mirror that runs along the wall next to the floor. Jamie makes faces at them. I can’t see Maya, most likely because she’s crawling under a mat. “Handstand forward roll!” I say more loudly.

Nothing.

“Jamie, Tia, and Kathryn!”

They stumble to attention. Tia mimes zipping her lips from singing along with Kanye on the radio. Jamie puts her arms up, steps forward, then stops. “What are we doing?”

“Handstand forward roll. For the third time.”

“Wait, what?” For the first time, I see Kasey standing all the way in the back.

“Handstand—Maya, get out of the there!”

Maya rolls out from under a mat. “Sorry!” she says. “What are we doing?”

“Handstand forward roll!” Brittany says from behind me. “She said it like a hundred times!”

“Sorry,” Maya says. She isn’t.

“Thank you, Brittany,” I say.

--

Both then and now, I look to see who burns the way I did. The way I still do. The good teams burn. Girls, coaches, parents. Maybe too much, the parents; at some meets, the parents burst into raucous shouts and clapping akin to college football games. Some of my old coaches and friends coach at those gyms now.

Kelsey burns, so much so that she cries “I can’t do it!” as tears run down. Same as Brittany, who at ten already has growth plate troubles and weak ankles. Natalie burns, but in a positive way; she is always either smiling or taking her turn. I’m not sure about Jamie. She’s talented but her drive comes and goes. Maya knows she's the best in the gym. That seems to be enough for her. Tia, who at 4’4” has difficulty generating any kind of power despite how fast she runs, has become tenacious lately. She wants it. Kathryn and Kasey? I’m not sure. I see it sometimes. Other times I can’t see anything.